An American Hero?

A year from now, most people will have no idea who Stephen Slater is. However, today he's a hero to thousands of people. He's the JetBlue flight attendant who lost his temper, quit his job while on duty, grabbed some beer, activated the emergency chute, and slid to fame. Why did a guy like this become a hero to so many people?

In these economic times, it might seem strange that someone would throw away a job. I'm sure there are unemployed people and others with backbreaking jobs who can't identify at all with what Slater did. On the other hand, many people today feel that management is taking advantage of workers. Employers know how hard it is to get a job today, so they hire people at lower wages with fewer benefits. As a result, there are considerable ill feelings towards employers today.

I'm not defending what Slater did. I'm just trying to understand it. However, there are many people who are defending him, even though he broke the law. They are thrilled by the way he quit, and see him as a hero. He did what many working people fantasize doing. He put into action the words of the old Johnny Paycheck song, "Take This Job And Shove It."

There is a tradition in America to turn those who break the law into heroes. Jesse James was a folk hero. Bonnie and Clyde were, too. Don't forget D.B. Cooper. He was the guy who hijacked a plane, got $200,000 in ransom, and parachuted out of the plane with the money.

Americans don't (hero) worship just anybody who breaks the law. Those who are admired are people whose actions are audacious and aimed primarily at "the man," government, big institutions, or corporations like banks, railroads, and now airlines. If someone steals the money from the cash register of a little store, nobody is going to make that thief a hero. But if a meek doorman at Goldman Sachs ingeniously figures out a way to get into the vault and steal millions of dollars on his lunch hour, he becomes an instant hero.

I don't think it's a particularly good thing that Americans make heroes out of these people, but that's the reality. And speaking of reality, it's no surprise that there are rumors that Slater will be in a TV reality show soon. He already has a Hollywood publicist named Howard Bragman. (How perfect is "Bragman" for the name of a publicist)? According to Bragman, they're getting all kinds of show business offers, and they'll deal with them once Slater takes care of his pesky criminal charges.

I'm sure he could do commercials for all kinds of products. He could definitely help sell the kind of beer he grabbed from the plane -- Blue Moon. But if I were the head of JetBlue, I'd hire Slater and make sure that his contract was exclusive. Then I'd put him in a JetBlue flight attendant's uniform, and he'd say on camera, "Everybody makes mistakes, even JetBlue. Sometimes we're late. Sometimes we over book. Sometimes we accidentally seat you 20 rows from your three-year-old. But whenever JetBlue happens to make a mistake, I think you should forgive them -- just as JetBlue has forgiven me." Then he'd grab a couple of beers, and slide down a chute.

It's definitely the smart way to go. You see, if a big corporation like JetBlue were to forgive someone who embarrassed them like this, and if they made fun of themselves in the process, well, there's a good chance JetBlue would become a folk hero.

The Porn Business Is Sagging

Like many businesses, porn has fallen on hard times. Sales of sexy DVDs have dropped drastically, and the porn producers aren't making it up on the internet. Big porn actresses – most of whom seem to be named Savanna or Savannah – are being paid less to have more sex. Before you jokingly suggest that the government bail out smut, "Hustler's" Larry Flynt was way ahead of you. He and "Girls Gone Wild's" Joe Francis said they were going to ask Congress for $5 billion back in January. Of course, Flynt's motives were purely altruistic. He said, "With all this economic misery and people losing all that money,... it's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

So far, Congress has not responded to the suggestion. In one way, that's surprising. Over and over again, in scandal after scandal, we've seen how important sex is to our Senators and Representatives. Maybe they'd vote for a porn bailout if they could use a phony name, like when they check into a motel with someone they're not supposed to be with. If they voted on it by secret ballot, it would probably pass faster than you can say, "I'm the new delivery boy. Are you home alone, Mrs. Jones?"

Considering that we get so many spam emails about porn, how could the porn industry be losing its shirt... and pants? Almost every day, I'm invited, courtesy of the internet, to watch videos of men and women doing things that I never even thought were possible. It turns out that porn is not a recession proof business. It makes sense that some fans of the genre have decided that their money should go elsewhere these days, even if the videos are shot in High Definition.

And ironically, the internet, that porn-filled swamp, is killing the professional porn industry. People can see all kinds of porn on the internet for free. Much of the sex on the net is allegedly pirated from "legitimate" porn companies. Other offerings are videos that people take of themselves or their friends and then put them on the web. I'm not sure who these people are or why they don't worry about what their grandparents – or grandchildren – will think, but there is no shortage of folks who are willing to have video sex. Even if these home videos are not of professional quality, the porn companies can't compete with those who are giving it away for free.

There's also a theory that in recent years, the American attention span has shrunk. We are used to short snippets, rather than long stories. Steven Hirsh, co-chairman of Vivid Entertainment says, "On the internet, the average attention span is three to five minutes," not an hour and a half. Even though porn was never known for its compelling storylines, people don't seem to want to have any story with their porn anymore. They just want the sex scenes. In a recent article in the "New York Times," sex actress Savanna Samson commented on this development, "I used to have dialogue," the frustrated thespian bemoaned. (Or maybe she moaned).

She's not the only porn star who is hurting these days (and not from leather whips). In a recent story in the "Los Angeles Times," Savannah Stern (see? Another Savannah) said she has had to replace her Mercedes with a used Chevy Trailblazer. She got the Trailblazer from her parents. It's nice to see them being supportive of their daughter's career choice, isn't it?

So is this the end of porn? Don't bet on it. Porn has been in the vanguard of technology before. Now the sex industry is talking about putting its product on mobile devices. Great -- as if people aren't staring at their IPhones and Blackberrys enough. The theory is that mobile devices are more personal, more intimate than regular computers. People would be able to take them anywhere they want to view porn. But is there actually an audience who will pay to watch adult movies on those itsy-bitsy screens? I guess we'll finally find out if size really doesn't matter.