Was Bush Right About Iraq?

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Some of the criticism George W. Bush and his administration received when they began the war against Iraq was that they were trying to force our culture on the Iraqi people. President Bush might not have even disagreed with this, since he seemed to preach that our culture was the best culture in the world. However, many people felt that our value system just wouldn't work in Iraq. They said that the Iraqi people would never adopt Western values and customs. Some were very condescending about it, and said that Iraqis "weren't ready" for Western ways. In at least one area, these critics were wrong. Our country's policy can probably take credit for the fact that something Western has definitely been embraced by the Iraqi people: nose jobs.

In today's Iraq, cosmetic surgery is "in." It wasn't that long ago that Iraq's plastic surgeons were busy trying to repair the ravages of war. Now that things have calmed down somewhat in certain areas, these doctors also spend some time lifting rear ends, performing liposuction, and "fixing" noses. In fact, the most popular cosmetic surgery in Iraq is the nose job. The cost, as cited in the "Los Angeles Times" is between $600 and $1,000. I don't know what accounts for the $400 cost range. I hope the doctors aren't charging by the inch.

It's ironic that cosmetic surgery is on the rise while Iraq has become so religiously conservative. While this type of surgery is not condemned by Iraq's clerics, surgeons are instructed to adhere to religious law. That means the doctors are not supposed to look at the "forbidden" parts of the female anatomy, even while they perform surgery. So if a woman is having a breast reduction or enlargement, the doctor is supposed to abide by the principle, "You can touch, but you can't look." Obviously, in this area, they haven't quite adopted Western ways, since what men in our society often hear is the exact opposite.

So how are we, how is the United States, how is President Bush responsible for all this cosmetic surgery? Before the war, Iraq was a much more insulated country. However, since 2003, Iraqis have had the opportunity to watch satellite TV. And what have they seen on satellite TV? I'm not talking about ""Becker." They've seen Egyptian and Lebanese celebrities who apparently look like they go to plastic surgeons about as often as you and I go to the bathroom. Hard to believe that celebrities would use artificial means to enhance their looks, isn't it? And just like in our country, there is a frenzy in Iraq to have phony looks that imitate these phony looks.

Iraqis are also able to watch Western-style music videos on their TVs now. Some people in Iraq feel that the desire to change their looks is the result of Iraqis seeing beautiful people, dancing and singing on the tube. One Iraqi woman, a 45-year-old mother of two, said that she hoped her liposuction would make her look more like Beyonce´. So look what our culture has given them: an obsession with looks and celebrities. And you didn't think the Bush policy was working.

Most of the Iraqis who want cosmetic surgery say that it is because they think it will help them get married. See? They've adopted the notion from our culture that plastic surgery will lead to love. And some of you didn't think they were ready for Western values.

When the war in Iraq started, the pro-war folks said that we wanted to give the Iraqi people things that all the people in the world were entitled to. What they really meant was that we wanted the Iraqis to have the right to remake themselves in our image. And that's what they're doing. Kind of. They're not imitating the way we look, they're imitating the way we imitate the way people look.

It is pretty amazing. Here's a culture that refused to wilt for thousands of years despite the sandstorms of the winds of change, but they can't resist breast jobs and tummy tucks. I guess the war's been a success.

Virtual Rejection

For the past couple of months, I've been feeling a great deal of shame and embarrassment. Now it's gotten too difficult for me to hold those feelings inside, so I'm going to spill my guts: a woman on Facebook unfriended me.

You've all heard of Facebook and its brothers and sisters – MySpace, Linkedin, Twitter, etc. Fans of these social networking sites point out that it's a way for more and more people to connect to each other. In this day and age in which people apparently don't have time to leave their many screens and meet actual humans, they can make virtual friends and have a cyber social life. The thing these enthusiasts don't talk about is the possibility of rejection. I know all about it, and it hurts, virtually.

To the few of you who are not on one of these sites, let me explain how this friend thing works on them. The object is much like that which some children have -- to have as many friends as possible. So you search and find people that you know and ask them to be your "friend." It doesn't stop there. You can ask a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend to be your friend. They almost always say, "yes." They're very friendly. So you end up being friends with a John Smith who lives in Guam whom you have never met and whom you can't remember what the connection to you is. Then when your real-life friends look at your list of Facebook friends, they may become friends of John Smith from Guam, too.

To be more accurate, in the vernacular of these sites, you don't "become friends" with someone. You "friend" them. That's right. They use "friend" as a verb. This aspect of virtual grammar is really annoying. However, I guess I shouldn't be so surprised by this linguistic evolution. All kinds of words are used as verbs these days. I think this whole thing started when somebody decided that it was okay to use "parenting" as a verb (as in, "I was up all night, parenting my kids"). That opened the floodgates. Soon, after spending the night on the sofa, people will be saying," I couched last night." There's no use fighting it. Too many people are languageing it to go back to the way things were.

Anyway, these people friend you, and you friend others, and everybody is supposed to be happy with their new friends. I thought all of my virtual friends were happy with me, until one day a woman wrote me that she no longer wanted anything to do with me, and she was "unfriending" me. Until then, I didn't know you could be unfriended. I didn't even know the word existed. But, alas, it had happened. My relationship with a woman I had never met had come to an unhappy and an ugly ending. That's the way unfriendings are.

It seemed so abrupt, so cruel. There was no, "I like you, but not in the way you like me." There was no, "I'm the one who has the problem, not you." And there was certainly no, "I'm sorry, but I'm tired of just having an amazing physical relationship with you."

What had I done to anger this woman that drove her to unfriend me? I'll tell you what I did: I had asked her – along with my other friends – to check out my latest column. She said that she was offended that I used Facebook to promote my writing.

I couldn't believe it. Most people use these sites to promote themselves. They'll talk about a job they have, or one they want, a concert they're giving, or one they want to go to. But she thought I was crossing the line by asking people to check out my latest column.

On Facebook, people will tell you important things like, "I think I'm getting a headache," "I had a great weekend," "I miss Jay Leno," "I spilled salad dressing on my skirt," and "I really hate traffic." But asking her to read my column offended her?!

So I had my virtual heart broken. For a while after that, I didn't friend anyone. I just wasn't ready. But now I'm back in the cyber saddle again, friending people left and right. As for my "Unfriend," I don't know if things will ever be the same with us again. But I do hope at least that someday we'll unenemy each other.